Saturday, December 30, 2006
Well, it's been one hell of a ride but the 1st regular season of the Balki System is all but over. We've had our ups and downs, but Larry and Balki have managed to come out on top most weeks. Even when they let their Russian counterparts have a crack it and last week let Jennifer and Maryann give their take on it. Balki and Larry's ladies went 8 and 8 but this week for Week 17 Balki and Larry are retaking the reigns before they ride off into the sunset on the 2006 NFL Season. The following was overheard at the offices of The Balki System this week.
Balki: Oh cosin Larry, I so happy we bet on football together. I had so much fun.
Larry: Yeah Balki, we really made a difference to those compulsive gamblers all across the country.
Balki: You bet your bibby bobka we did!
Larry: I don't know what I'm going to do without football betting until next September.
Balki: Maybe we can go to Mypos and bet on the goat herding competition.
Larry: Y'know Balki, a trip to Mypos isn't a bad idea, but lets leave the betting for next season.
Balki: I can't wait to tell Jennifer and Maryann we're going to Mypos together.
Larry: Balki, you're not going to tell them anything, I want to surprise them. Let's pack their bags, and blindfold them until they get off the plain.
Balki: Cosin, don't be ridiculos the trip to Mypos will take 22 hours.
Larry: Fine then we'll unblindfold them on the plane and we'll do the mile high dance of joy, if you know what I mean.
Balki: You bet your bibby bobka we will.
END SCENE
Week 17 Picks
Game 1
Giants at Redskins
Redskins are apparently Indians and the only thing that comes to mind is that 10 little indians song where they all just disappear one by one and they weren't even dealing with Giants.
Pick: Giants
Game 2
Panthers at Saints
The Panthers travel down to the House of the Saints but without opposable thumbs they can't open the doors.
Pick: Saints
Game 3
Browns at Texans
Brown is a color that is identified with a lot of the natural landscape of Texas. However, the Texans are used to that so they don't let it bother them.
Pick: Texans
Game 4
Lions at Cowboys
The Cowboys may be good at roping steer but a Lion ain't no moo cow.
Pick: Lions
Game 5
Jaguars at Chiefs
Jaguars can outrun the Chief and he can bite.
Pick: Jaguars
Game 6
Patriots at Titans
Everywhere the Patriots go in America they love just as much as the last place.
Pick: Patriots
Game 7
Raiders at Jets
The Raiders can try to invade the Jets territory but they most likely don't have the firepower to match the Jets throttle
Pick: Jets
Game 8
Steelers at Bengals'
The Blue Collar Steelers are quite out of place out in the jungle, for the Bengal tigers there's no place like home.
Pick: Bengals
Game 9
Seahawks at Buccaneers
The Seahawks are just looking for fish while the Bucs are looking forward to pillaging and drinking rum.
Picks: Bucs
Game 10
Rams at Vikings
It's a mightly clash when these Norsemen meet up with the these horned sheep but I think I'll go with Vikings.
Picks: Vikings
Game 11
Falcons at Eagles
Eagles have homenest advantage and they stand for America.
Pick: Eagles
Game 12
Ravens at Bills
I got nothing.
Pick: Ravens
Game 13
Dolphins at Colts
Once again, Dolphins on dry land...not happening.
Pick: Colts
Game 14
Cardinals at Chargers
Many a Cardinal has been electrocuted while sitting on a power line.
Pick: Chargers
Game 15
49ers at Broncos
The 49ers rode them horses out west during the gold rush so they know how to ride 'em
Pick: 49ers
Game 16
Packers at Bears
Nothing the Packers could Pack could prepare them for entering the bear's den.
Pick: Bears
Alright, that's week 17. I totally mailed it in for the last week. Good luck to you and your teams. I hope they're in the playoffs but if not there's always next year. Special thanks to Axel Foley, Omarossa, Melanie Griffith, Andrei, Ivan, Jennifer, Maryann and everyone else who helped make the Balki System such a non success.
WEEK 17 RESULTS
8-8
SEASON
139-101
Balki: Oh cosin Larry, I so happy we bet on football together. I had so much fun.
Larry: Yeah Balki, we really made a difference to those compulsive gamblers all across the country.
Balki: You bet your bibby bobka we did!
Larry: I don't know what I'm going to do without football betting until next September.
Balki: Maybe we can go to Mypos and bet on the goat herding competition.
Larry: Y'know Balki, a trip to Mypos isn't a bad idea, but lets leave the betting for next season.
Balki: I can't wait to tell Jennifer and Maryann we're going to Mypos together.
Larry: Balki, you're not going to tell them anything, I want to surprise them. Let's pack their bags, and blindfold them until they get off the plain.
Balki: Cosin, don't be ridiculos the trip to Mypos will take 22 hours.
Larry: Fine then we'll unblindfold them on the plane and we'll do the mile high dance of joy, if you know what I mean.
Balki: You bet your bibby bobka we will.
END SCENE
Week 17 Picks
Game 1
Giants at Redskins
Redskins are apparently Indians and the only thing that comes to mind is that 10 little indians song where they all just disappear one by one and they weren't even dealing with Giants.
Pick: Giants
Game 2
Panthers at Saints
The Panthers travel down to the House of the Saints but without opposable thumbs they can't open the doors.
Pick: Saints
Game 3
Browns at Texans
Brown is a color that is identified with a lot of the natural landscape of Texas. However, the Texans are used to that so they don't let it bother them.
Pick: Texans
Game 4
Lions at Cowboys
The Cowboys may be good at roping steer but a Lion ain't no moo cow.
Pick: Lions
Game 5
Jaguars at Chiefs
Jaguars can outrun the Chief and he can bite.
Pick: Jaguars
Game 6
Patriots at Titans
Everywhere the Patriots go in America they love just as much as the last place.
Pick: Patriots
Game 7
Raiders at Jets
The Raiders can try to invade the Jets territory but they most likely don't have the firepower to match the Jets throttle
Pick: Jets
Game 8
Steelers at Bengals'
The Blue Collar Steelers are quite out of place out in the jungle, for the Bengal tigers there's no place like home.
Pick: Bengals
Game 9
Seahawks at Buccaneers
The Seahawks are just looking for fish while the Bucs are looking forward to pillaging and drinking rum.
Picks: Bucs
Game 10
Rams at Vikings
It's a mightly clash when these Norsemen meet up with the these horned sheep but I think I'll go with Vikings.
Picks: Vikings
Game 11
Falcons at Eagles
Eagles have homenest advantage and they stand for America.
Pick: Eagles
Game 12
Ravens at Bills
I got nothing.
Pick: Ravens
Game 13
Dolphins at Colts
Once again, Dolphins on dry land...not happening.
Pick: Colts
Game 14
Cardinals at Chargers
Many a Cardinal has been electrocuted while sitting on a power line.
Pick: Chargers
Game 15
49ers at Broncos
The 49ers rode them horses out west during the gold rush so they know how to ride 'em
Pick: 49ers
Game 16
Packers at Bears
Nothing the Packers could Pack could prepare them for entering the bear's den.
Pick: Bears
Alright, that's week 17. I totally mailed it in for the last week. Good luck to you and your teams. I hope they're in the playoffs but if not there's always next year. Special thanks to Axel Foley, Omarossa, Melanie Griffith, Andrei, Ivan, Jennifer, Maryann and everyone else who helped make the Balki System such a non success.
WEEK 17 RESULTS
8-8
SEASON
139-101
# posted by Evan Kessler @ 1:31 PM 
