The Balki System

So without further ado, Week 16 in the NFL picks based on uniforms.

Game 1
Vikings at Packers
The Vikings someone pull off the Purple Uniforms whereas the Green G inside the center of the Yellow Helmet just looks plain ugly and outdated.

Pick: Vikings

Game 2
Chiefs at Raiders
Red looks okay on the Chiefs but all girls like bad boys which is what the Silver and Black make the Raiders out to be.

Pick: Raiders

Game 3
Ravens at Steelers
The Ravens copied the Vikings with their color purple. It's the equivalent of wearing the same dress to a party. Luckily they're both not playing on Sunday. The Steelers are simple with the 3 diamond things on their helmet. Though I'm not quite sure what they are, Ladies like the diamonds.

Pick: Steelers

Game 4
Panthers at Falcons
The Panthers wear teal which hasn't been cool since the mid 90's. It's just an awful color.

Pick: Falcons

Game 5
Bears at Lions
The Bears outfits are like the business suits of uniforms. They are plain, simple, and classy. The Orange C is like a nice tie. The lions with their Silver and Blue just look silly.

Pick: Bears

Game 6
Colts at Texans
The horseshoe is a nice lucky charm. A red white and blue bull helmet doesn't really do anything for me.

Pick: Colts

Game 7
Patriots at Jaguars
I don't like either of these teams uniforms. There's too many colors going on with the Patriots. The Red, White, Blue, and Silver should just be red white and blue. Instead of just being the Patriots they're flashy patriots. The Jaguars have the misfortune of having a teal-like color which is an automatic disqualification.

Pick: Patriots

Game 8
Saints at Giants
The Copper shine of the saints helmets is blinding. The Giants uniforms are simple and fashionable and could have just as easily been fashionable in the 1950's and the 21st Century.

Pick: Giants

Game 9
Bucs at Browns
The Browns look like dog poop in the back yard when they run around the football field in their brown uniforms. Nobody should want to look like poop.

Pick: Bucs

Game 10
Titans at Bills
The titans have two tones of Blue that don't look at all together.

Pick: Bills

Game 11
Redskins at Rams
The Redskins uniforms are racist and the Rams have those cool hypnotizing swirly blue and yellow patterned helmets. That's fun.

Pick: Rams

Game 12
Cardinals at 49ers
The Cardinals have a cute bird on the helmet. The 49ers just have the letters SF. How creative is that?

Pick: Cardinals

Game 13
Bengals at Broncos
The Bengals helmets remind me of Zubazz pants. That was a bad trend.

Pick: Broncos

Game 14
Chargers at Seahawks
I think the Seahawks helmet has some ugly bird with some weird grayish blue color. The Chargers have a lightning bolt. That's kind of excitement.

Pick: Chargers

Game 15
Eagles at Cowboys
The Cowboys helmets look like sheriffs badge. Law enforcement = power. Chicks dig powerful men and helmets.

Pick: Cowboys

Game 16
Jets at Dolphins
The Dolphins helmet is just a dolphin jumping through a hoop. It's condoning the exploitation of animals for monetary purposes. That is just plain wrong. I'm calling PETA.

Pick: Jets

Last Week
11-5

Season
131-93