Sunday, November 12, 2006
Another week down to the wire with the Balki System. Last week Larry and Balki waited until Sunday to make their picks and well, they only broke even. That's okay though, since the Balki System doesn't really rely on any knowledge and really the picks can be made as soon as the NFL schedule comes out several months before the season. That's the beauty of the Balki Season. As it were...Sundays picks have yet to be made... The following was overheard at the Balki System offices.
Larry: Balki...You've really gotten lazy with these picks. The last 2 weeks you've let it go down to the wire.
Balki: Oh Cosin Lari, you know worry. Everything will be okay. I make picks in a few minutes.
Larry: Balki the games will be on a few minutes.
Balki: Get out of the city...I know this. In Mypos we chave saying..."Never pick a sheep until you're sure". But of course we usually do traditional dance of joy and bibby bobka meal before picking our sheep.
Larry: Well then I'm ready to do the dance of Joy if you are.
Balki: You got it dude.
Larry: Balki, that's the wrong TGIF show.
Balki: Don't be ridiculous...
END SCENE
Week 10
Game 1
Ravens at Titans
Everytime those Titans try to score the Ravens open their beaks and say "Nevermore".
Pick: Ravens
Game 2
Bills at Colts
Horseys never get Bills delivered to their homes and when these Bills arrive they just sort of ignore them because horseys don't have credit to ruin.
Pick: Colts
Game 3
Browns at Falcons
The Browns are a color, The Falcons are a really fast bird. I think Falcons also have white poop, so the Browns don't really have any place here.
Pick: Falcons
Game 4
Packers at Vikings
The Packers pack their bags for Minnesota's dome thinking it's warm inside the dome and that they could wear shorts. However, they totally overlooked that they were playing Vikings and didn't bring anything other than shorts and t-shirts.
Pick: Vikings
Game 5
Texans at Jaguars
We all know what happens when Texans leave home...They're not in Texas anymore and thus must meagerly defend themselves against the elements of other states. This time they run into a pack of Jaguars in Florida. I don't like their chances.
Pick: Jaguars
Game 6
Chiefs at Dolphins
Chief isn't know for his mighty prowess on the high seas. He's more of an inland guy.
Pick: Dolphins
Game 7
Jets at Patriots
Remember when the Patriot Missile was knocking down all of those SCUDs. Well those were most likely propelled by Jets. However, so were the SCUDs. If it's a question of firepower I'd lean towards the Jets but those damn Patriots were just so efficient.
Pick: Patriots
Game 8
Chargers at Bengals
I've never thought about Bengals and Electricity before...I don't think Bengals have either. They're in for quite a shock.
Pick: Chargers
Game 9
49ers at Lions
Luckily on their Trip out west the 49ers never had to encounter Lions. Unfortunately they have to make a trip straight into the Lions den this weekend.
Pick: Lions
Game 10
Redskins at Eagles
When the Redskin goes into the Eagles home he is respectful and thus allows him to fly all over the place whenever he pleases.
Pick: Eagles
Game 11
Broncos at Raiders
The Raiders are only good when they raid. They are horrible hosts.
Pick: Broncos
Game 12
Saints at Steelers
The Saints go to visit the foul mouthed blue-collar steel workers and are completely apalled at their crassness. Instead of attempting to change their vulgar ways, they turn right back around in horror.
Pick: Steelers
Game 13
Cowboys at Cardinals
The Cowboys come into Cardinal land with their guns-ablazin' and since there's nothing else to shoot at...they open fire on them there cardinals in that there nest.
Pick: Cowboys
Game 14
Rams at Seahawks
Someone herded them sheep all the way to Seattle where it rains all of the time leaving the Rams with waterlogged wool sweater.
Pick: Seahawks
Game 15
Bears at Giants
The Giant is probably one of the only opponents equipped to beat the Bear. No matter how big the Bear, he'd probably only get to do a little ankle gnawing before the Giant flicks him off and steps on him.
Pick: Giants
Game 16
Bucs at Panthers
The Buccaneers leave the water and head inland to see a Panther about being lunch without the high seas as a defense mechanism.
Pick: Panthers
There you have it folks...The Balki System picks for Week 10. Good luck to you and all of your teams. Larry and Balki will certainly be pulling for you as long as you made the same picks.
Week 9 Results
7-7
Season
72-56
Larry: Balki...You've really gotten lazy with these picks. The last 2 weeks you've let it go down to the wire.
Balki: Oh Cosin Lari, you know worry. Everything will be okay. I make picks in a few minutes.
Larry: Balki the games will be on a few minutes.
Balki: Get out of the city...I know this. In Mypos we chave saying..."Never pick a sheep until you're sure". But of course we usually do traditional dance of joy and bibby bobka meal before picking our sheep.
Larry: Well then I'm ready to do the dance of Joy if you are.
Balki: You got it dude.
Larry: Balki, that's the wrong TGIF show.
Balki: Don't be ridiculous...
END SCENE
Week 10
Game 1
Ravens at Titans
Everytime those Titans try to score the Ravens open their beaks and say "Nevermore".
Pick: Ravens
Game 2
Bills at Colts
Horseys never get Bills delivered to their homes and when these Bills arrive they just sort of ignore them because horseys don't have credit to ruin.
Pick: Colts
Game 3
Browns at Falcons
The Browns are a color, The Falcons are a really fast bird. I think Falcons also have white poop, so the Browns don't really have any place here.
Pick: Falcons
Game 4
Packers at Vikings
The Packers pack their bags for Minnesota's dome thinking it's warm inside the dome and that they could wear shorts. However, they totally overlooked that they were playing Vikings and didn't bring anything other than shorts and t-shirts.
Pick: Vikings
Game 5
Texans at Jaguars
We all know what happens when Texans leave home...They're not in Texas anymore and thus must meagerly defend themselves against the elements of other states. This time they run into a pack of Jaguars in Florida. I don't like their chances.
Pick: Jaguars
Game 6
Chiefs at Dolphins
Chief isn't know for his mighty prowess on the high seas. He's more of an inland guy.
Pick: Dolphins
Game 7
Jets at Patriots
Remember when the Patriot Missile was knocking down all of those SCUDs. Well those were most likely propelled by Jets. However, so were the SCUDs. If it's a question of firepower I'd lean towards the Jets but those damn Patriots were just so efficient.
Pick: Patriots
Game 8
Chargers at Bengals
I've never thought about Bengals and Electricity before...I don't think Bengals have either. They're in for quite a shock.
Pick: Chargers
Game 9
49ers at Lions
Luckily on their Trip out west the 49ers never had to encounter Lions. Unfortunately they have to make a trip straight into the Lions den this weekend.
Pick: Lions
Game 10
Redskins at Eagles
When the Redskin goes into the Eagles home he is respectful and thus allows him to fly all over the place whenever he pleases.
Pick: Eagles
Game 11
Broncos at Raiders
The Raiders are only good when they raid. They are horrible hosts.
Pick: Broncos
Game 12
Saints at Steelers
The Saints go to visit the foul mouthed blue-collar steel workers and are completely apalled at their crassness. Instead of attempting to change their vulgar ways, they turn right back around in horror.
Pick: Steelers
Game 13
Cowboys at Cardinals
The Cowboys come into Cardinal land with their guns-ablazin' and since there's nothing else to shoot at...they open fire on them there cardinals in that there nest.
Pick: Cowboys
Game 14
Rams at Seahawks
Someone herded them sheep all the way to Seattle where it rains all of the time leaving the Rams with waterlogged wool sweater.
Pick: Seahawks
Game 15
Bears at Giants
The Giant is probably one of the only opponents equipped to beat the Bear. No matter how big the Bear, he'd probably only get to do a little ankle gnawing before the Giant flicks him off and steps on him.
Pick: Giants
Game 16
Bucs at Panthers
The Buccaneers leave the water and head inland to see a Panther about being lunch without the high seas as a defense mechanism.
Pick: Panthers
There you have it folks...The Balki System picks for Week 10. Good luck to you and all of your teams. Larry and Balki will certainly be pulling for you as long as you made the same picks.
Week 9 Results
7-7
Season
72-56
# posted by Evan Kessler @ 8:32 AM 
